At the Zoo...err, menagerie

I went to the menagerie at the Jardin des Plantes the other day and learned that while French folk love their gardens to be in perfect shape and order, they like to throw all sorts of different animals together in fairly unkept cages, perhaps for sadistic fun, perhaps because they know something that I do not (they likely know many things I do not, like French for instance, and how to turn a full sized tree into a rectangular Chia pet).

I digress … so I am at the menagerie, expecting to see mainly birds, and suddenly I’m in the company of llamas with facial problems, monkeys with a combination of anxiety disorder and perhaps depression, and the nicest camels I have met in my life. All at the same zoo, err…menagerie. By far and away, this was the moment on my trip where I most wanted to have a camera and did not…it's tough being a loafer.

Llamas with facial problems: you know how Napoleon Dynamite has that stare, partially because of an oversized overbite and partially because he’s Napoleon Dynamite? So I met Napoleon Dyamite’s cousin, in llama form I guess. For those unfamiliar with ND, I walked past a llama with the kind of facial expression that either said, “I smell something odd, was that you?” or “I apologize, I have a nerve disorder and I don’t mean to suggest that you smell like the most potent composite of foot odor I have ever encountered in my llama life.”

Monkeys with Issues: It’s true, sad and true. Amalea and I met a monkey who was having a very bad day. This monkey had his head buried in his legs, his legs propped up against the plexi-glass window, and a face that could bring tears to any sentient being within a 30m radius. Tough stuff…poor monkey.

Camels with moxie: Without exception, these were the nicest camels I have met in my life. They were living it up, getting close to the visitors by the cages, looking for people to pet them, handling social calls from other camels. These camels had the menagerie system down, they were in their groove, and I was happy to see some emotionally settled animals at the venue.

The menagerie liked to combine animals that I had never seen together, like monkeys and birds; and pigeons, ducks, geese, and hamsters. While there were pigeons throughout the entire park, eating other birds' food, giving guff to the flamingos (they were generally oblivious of everything though, and likely deserved the treatment, flamingos), and making the venue a generally stinky place, the barnyard animal section (the one with the ducks and hamsters) had the audacity to act as if these pigeons were placed in the park on purpose! There was a sign that described the pigeon's historic residence in Paris, the nerve!

If that weren’t enough, there were chickens and roosters on the loose, getting rowdy with the more docile animals and visitors (one came right up to me when I was sitting on a bench and looked at me as if I was in the wrong seat at the wrong time) and there was smelliness throughout the park; the place was in dire need of a good cleaning. The only employee I saw was the pleasant lady who took my money at the gate.

Yay, Paris menagerie.